What We Want You to Know
Students. Faith + Swagger. We're just a group of students trying to figure it all out.
Worship is giving God the glory, honor, and praise. It's about telling God how much you love him and how thankful you are for his mercy and love. He is the one and only God! He is worthy to be praised!
Worship isn't just singing. you can dance, pray, write and do art. When I sing to God, I feel at peace. He will come and meet with me sometimes. When I dance for God, I get what I call the "Holy Ghost chills" from head to toe. I feel an overwhelming amount of freedom go through my body which tells me He is in the room watching me worship him. I write every once in a while about what I thought of the church service. I feel like God is hearing my cry. Writing is, in my opinion, like praying. It's a silent way to pray. I feel as if God is my psychologist. I have also seen people worship through art. An artist at my old church painted the steps that led Jesus to the cross. He started with the whipping, then the clothing, the crown of thorns, the royal sash, and then the cross. The final product was the face of Jesus crying and bleeding on the cross. The artist started to cry and speak in tongues. He was filled with the Holy Spirit. I haven't had an encounter with God in a while, therefore my longing to worship has lessened. I used to be eager to worship God. I don't know what happened. I remember when I would stop everything I was doing to worship him. Now I am doing everything to avoid it. Nowadays when I go to worship all I feel is conviction, which leads to the question, "What would need to change for me to be excited about Jesus?" My whole life needs to change. I've made my day too busy. I've prioritized objects before Jesus. I've sinned before God and not cared. I don't read the Bible. I use profanity and curse His name. I'm so far from God. I need to change. My actions need to change and my heart needs to change. I'm scared because I'm drifting so far from Him. I don't remember what it's like to be held by Him. The definition of worship is: "Reverent honor and homage paid to God or a sacred personage or to any object regarded as sacred." Obviously the only sacred person that's worthy of praise is Jesus Christ. (1 Chronicles 16:25 tells us God is great and he's worthy to be praised and is to be feared among all gods.) So praise Him! He has done great things for you. He has given his life for you so you can live eternal life. He loves you and gives you strength. He gives you mercy when you don't deserve it! God is a gentleman. He doesn't yell at you or demand you worship Him. He gives you a choice. If He wanted to force you to worship Him, He would. But He doesn't. He loves us so much and is so sad when we choose not to worship Him. If you are at a point where you are done trying to worship, tell yourself the truth. Remember the encounters and talks you've had with God... the way He made you feel. Peace, joy, happiness! God is definitely NOT bored with you and would love to have a relationship with you, so let Him and see what God has in store for you!
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I was about 21/2 when I sustained a head injury to the back of my head. I was knocked unconscious with a very shallow heartbeat and breathing. I remained lifeless in my grandmother's arms. She prayed for life to remain in my little body and for the paramedics to arrive faster. I went in an ambulance and when I got to the hospital they did not know how serious my injury was. After multiple tests and a few days in the hospital, the results showed I would have some learning disabilities from my injury. I struggled in school. God has blessed me by sending me to True Light Shines so that I can get one-on-one teaching and more help than what public school could give me. The good that came out of my bad situation is that I am at True Light Shines. I still have the learning disability but I am trusting God to do His will in my life. Joseph's brother struggled with being suicidal. When he didn't want to live, neither did Joseph. Watch as Matthew shares what it was like to watch Joseph suffer through this very personal challenge. These two are great guys and good friends.
Do You Go to Heaven if You Kill Yourself? (Each Swaggy Disciple researched and formed his/her own opinion on this difficult topic.) My opinion is you do not go to Heaven if you kill yourself. Murder is forbidden in Scripture, including murdering oneself. You are of great value. If you commit suicide you are not ending it at all. You still exist, but now with the regret of killing yourself. You will answer to God for what you did, including suicide, and for wasting your opportunity to serve God and others. "...And whosoever was not found written in the book of life was cast into the lake of fire." Revelation 20:15 (KJV) If you're having a hard time you should not be alone. Go get help. Quit comparing your life to others. God made you who you are for a reason. He made you special in your own way.
When I was in third grade I started gaining weight and getting bullied everyday. My parents were having problems and then they eventually got a divorce. I felt like I was torn. During that time something happened to me I don't like talking about... but it went on for years. Sometimes I would cry myself to sleep at night. I was broken and hurt and all I could do was be angry. I hated everyone and everything. I was gaining more weight and I got depressed.
It got worse in 6th grade. I had started cutting and I felt like I was a nobody. Seventh grade got worse. I started cutting more and more. I wanted to die everyday. I would tell myself, "You're a no good, fat loser." I was cutting on my wrists, but people would notice so I started cutting on my thighs. I think I have tried to kill myself two or three times. I cried everyday. I felt as though I had something, then I didn't. More stuff started happening. I was having problems with my dad. He was upset with me for smoking a vape and piercing my nose. Eighth grade is better now. I haven't been cutting a lot, but I recently just did. My depression is getting better, but I'm still having trouble with anger. I still struggle with confidence. I don't trust anyone. I am tired of getting hurt. Sometimes I think I need help because of the thoughts and actions I have. A lot of people believe that if you do commit suicide it is just a ticket to hell because you just wasted your life for nothing. I believe if you are a Christian you do go to heaven, but if you do and you're not a Christian you won't. Most people think my life is perfect, but they don't know what is under my mask. This mask is something I want to get rid of, but it's hard. It all started a long time ago. I was only 3 or 4 years old... I can't really remember. I was abused. I will not go into details, but it effected my life in so many ways. If I could give you a piece of advice, I would say you need to forgive and move on. When I turned 14 I was a very curious person. I would remember things from my abuse. I could not handle it. I blamed God. I was angry. What I did next consumed me for the next three years. I did not think it was a big deal at first. All I did was grab a plastic knife and put 12 cuts on my wrists. I was angry at everyone and everything. I hated God, my parents, my counselor, my friends... Everyone. I blamed it on my abuse and my parents. I did not want to live. I did not want to wake up- ever. I was done. The next thing I knew after putting cuts on my wrists my mom was driving me to the hospital. I did not know until we were almost there. I did not understand. I was afraid and totally freaked out. I knew there was something wrong with what I was doing, but I finally felt something besides depression. I talked to four doctors about the same things. I resented my parents for bringing me to the hospital to talk about my problems with people did did not know. After that everything became a blur... I cut myself with whatever I could find. I never left my room unless I was forced to. I had dark clothes and make-up on 24/7. The hardest part was I did not tell anyone at school for the first three months I was cutting. I felt alone and I did not want to let anyone in. I would cut hardest when I was angry. They were up and down each arm, a few on my legs and belly. My life was falling apart. On the outside of my mask I smiled, told everyone I was fine, covered up my arms so no one would know. I did what people told me to do but on the inside I was screaming for help. My heart was stabbed with knives. My family did not trust me... looking to see any signs of cuts. When my family stopped trusting, me I was alone. My hope fell and I was going to die. I told myself I would do it. Many nights I lay awake thinking about it. I took out blades from pencil sharpeners and hid them from my parents. I would use them whenever I did not get what I wanted or was sad, angry or depressed. I was drowning in a hole of bitterness and anger. My world was crashing all around me. I finally started to talk to my parents again and we made a lot of compromises about things (and rules) I was not happy about. I told my parents I was sorry for only thinking of myself. I was so selfish and I did not even care. Now my life is like any other person. I quit cutting, I love my family and life is good. I have a wonderful boyfriend and I have plenty of friends at school. Life is definitely worth living! If you or someone you know is talking about killing themselves, please try to think before making any major decisions. Ask people if they are okay. Take it seriously. Do not be alone. God never meant to make you do things alone. Your life might be really hard, but please don't compare your life to others. One other thing... Depression can cloud your mind, so don't do anything until you get help.
God is here for you, just take his hand. He will guide you in the way you should go. If you need suicide help, please call: 1-800-273-TALK. |
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